Everyone tells me to 'just relax'. Is stress really the reason I'm not getting pregnant?

This is one of the most common and hurtful things people trying to conceive hear. The research is reassuring: everyday stress is not considered a main cause of infertility, and most fertility problems have physical causes such as ovulation issues, blocked tubes, endometriosis, sperm problems or age-related changes. Very severe stress, or the extreme weight loss and over-exercise that sometimes go with it, can delay or stop ovulation in some women. Long-term stress can also affect sleep, libido and how often couples have intercourse. But the idea that someone isn't conceiving simply because they 'think about it too much' isn't supported, and studies have not shown that stress levels meaningfully reduce IVF success. The main reason to look after your stress is for your own wellbeing during a hard time, not because you've caused the problem. Gentle exercise, time with supportive people, counselling and rest can all help. If you've been trying for 12 months (six if you're 35 or older), or have irregular periods or other known conditions, the next step is a medical assessment for both partners, not relaxing. And if stress turns into persistent low mood or thoughts of self-harm, please seek urgent help from a doctor or a mental-health helpline.